Two Wishes

Farewell to My Weddingbee

My friends, the time has come.  Our wedding is over, the recaps have been posted, and it is time to bid a fond adieu to Weddingbee....  Though it's sad to leave such a vibrant, intelligent, and supportive community, I recently discovered something that instantly makes weddings a thing of the past (a/k/a, the ultimate cure for PTWS):

Pregnancy.

Yes, Mr. Tulip and I have a bun ... or, should I say Bulb? ... in the oven!

 

(This is a real book.)

Trust me, it was a bit of a surprise to everyone involved!  I am ancient (37), have been on chemo (which destroys fertility), and am in terrible health.  Just after our honeymoon, I decided to stop the Pill for a while to see if it contributed to my migraines.  Sure, it was a bit of Russian Roulette on the baby front, but pretty safe for an old lady with dead eggs, right?  6 weeks later, the EPT was pink.  And we're due ONE DAY after our first wedding anniversary!

Want to know more?  There will be updates on my personal blog.

Watch in wonder as my silhouette goes from this:

(Shut up, those are totally my abs. As pictured on FitStep.com.)

to this:

(Fertility goddess, borrowed from this blog.)

Cheer as our nursery-to-be morphs from this:

to this:

(Artist's approximation, courtesy of re:place.)

Or, just stop by and say hi.

It has been a pleasure and an honor to be part of Weddingbee these past months.  Cheers to Bee, my sister bees, and the fantastic Weddingbee readers for building the best wedding resource on the Web.  And thanks for being our virtual wedding guests!

With warm wishes to each and every one of you,

Mrs. Tulip

A Photographer for California Budget Brides

For budget brides, finding a reasonably priced photographer who does good work can be a major challenge.  One trick I recommend is searching for talented people who are just starting out in the business.  But where to find them?

I recently had that discussion with a Weddingbee reader from the West Coast.  Curious what her part of the country has to offer, I headed to Craigslist-LA and checked out the first event photography ad on the list.  And I just happened to stumble across a promising photographer at a great price, so wanted to share him with anyone near Orange County who's working within a budget.

Sebastian Ho is new to wedding photography, but his artistic eye and experimental use of light already elevate his photos a notch above the ordinary.  And, for a limited time, he is offering introductory pricing at half off his normal fees -- his middle package of 8 hours' wedding shooting, an engagement session, proofs, and a high-resolution DVD is just $1,000.

 

You can find Sebastian at Triple Eight Imaging.

Anyone else have a great budget photography resource to share?

The Tulips' Budget, and Budget Wedding Tips

There's an interesting thread on the Weddingbee boards at the moment discussing what it means to have a "budget wedding." Some say the term means sticking strictly within a defined wedding budget. Others believe it's a synonym for "inexpensive," especially if you are able to pull off something that looks more expensive than its actual cost.

In our case, I'm not sure how well we did with #1. We spent what we spent, and I made some unwise and even wasteful purchases. But I'd like to think #2 came out well. Everyone has different definitions of "inexpensive." But Mr. T and I were married in an extremely expensive area, with a celebration that included everything we cared about ... for $8,800.

Here's the breakdown of how we spent that sum, along with some tips for other would-be "budget" brides. (And some last favorites from Punam Bean's wonderful photos!):

Ceremony Venue = 6%

The Athenaeum cost $150/hour, plus $100 to become a member of the nonprofit arts group that owns the property.

Tip:  Charity-owned venues can be relatively inexpensive. And your fees support a charity, so it's win-win!

(The big entrance. Mr T and the bridal party came through a side door, so these enormous double doors were thrown open just for me. Dramatic! And so glad I was wearing a slip!)

Officiant and Wedding License < 1%

Just $30 for the wedding license. My father officiated.

Tip:  If you know a licensed officiant, or if your state grants temporary licenses or allows the Internet-ordained, consider having someone you know officiate. You won't have to pay a stranger, and the ceremony can be even more touching when the officiant knows you personally.

Bride's Dress and Accessories = 4%

Bought a $240 dress off eBay. Shoes, parasol, shawl, veil, undergarments, and bag also came from eBay. Already owned my earrings.

Tip:  Ebay, secondhand stores, sample sales ... work every discount source you can think of! Borrowed items are good too -- they save you the purchase money and bring a special bit of luck and good cheer from the lender.

Bride's Beauty = 0

Thanks to a kind stranger who covered my wedding-day beauty expenses. And the fact that I ran out of time for a mani/pedi the day before!

Tip:  Consider a beauty school for hair and/or makeup, or a retail cosmetics counter for your makeup. They don't charge the exorbitant fees of official "wedding" beauticians.

(Poor Mr. T served as de facto wedding coordinator in the hours before our ceremony. Here, he's working the cell while reserving parking for an usher.)

Wedding Planner / Day of Coordinator = 0

Sure, it would have been nice to have a knowledgeable person take on part of the load. But we didn't want it enough to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for the service. A number of family and friends pitched in to help with decorating and day-of details. Their help meant the world to us, and they said it meant a lot to them to help create a special day.

Tip:  Friends and family are happy to pitch in. Really! Also, if you want someone to handle the day-of details but can't afford to pay, consider trading services with another bride-to-be.

Groom's Attire = 2%

We bought a tux-like Theory jacket at a local designer discounter, a BCBG tux shirt off eBay, and a TJ Maxx tie that coordinated with the groomsmen's (Donald Trump Collection, baby!). He wore pants and shoes that he already owned.

Transportation = 0

Sure, a classic car would have been fantastic. But we just didn't care enough to pay for it. The "Getaway Scion" got us from place to place just as well!

Favors = 1.5%

Our lavender sachets, vintage handkerchiefs, and Gocco'd cookie bags were technically unnecessary. But they were memorable touches, and we wanted to offer a useful keepsake to the guests.

(SIL has a booooyfriennnnnd! It was sweet to see them so crazy for each other.)

Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, etc. = 5%

We bought our bridesmaids' dresses (eBay) and also gave them World Food Programme bags as gifts. The groomsmen wore their own suits; our gifts were matching shirts and ties, which also helped pull together the overall look. And I paid for a night's lodging and beauty preparations for my mother. Overall, we spent more on this group than on my own wedding dress and accessories, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We greatly appreciated all they did for us.

Tip:  Don't forget the bridal party in your money-saving plans! Consider inexpensive bridesmaids' gowns from eBay, Internet sales, or mall stores. And do your groomsmen really need to rent a tux, or would same-color suits do just as well? 

Ditto for the costs your guests will pay. Is that block of rooms a good deal for people on every budget? Or would you do better sharing Travelzoo deals on your wedding Website? 

(Filling out our detailed guestbook, which asked for a drawing, a favorite memory, and the name of our first child and/or next pet. And "someone" collected anniversary cards for our first anniversary...MOH? Care to take credit?)

Invites, Paper Goods, and Crafts = 9%

We overspent in this category, thanks to my obsession with paper goods, my purchase of mucho craft supplies we never used, and my long-time determination to own a Gocco. An inexpensive store-purchased invitfation and regular stamps would have saved time, money, and energy. But this was another category that I really cared about. (And now I have a Gocco!)

Tip:  DIY does not always mean less expensive. DIY if you enjoy it; but if you're most interested in saving money, the cost comparisons may surprise you. Also, consider "non-wedding" items for objects like your guestbook and thank-you cards. Anything made specifically for weddings can come with a substantial markup.

(You're never too young to appreciate tasty crabcakes!)

Reception Venue, Bar, Catering, Cakes, and Service = 40%

Our venue had a $2,500 minimum for the rental, which our final total didn't quite meet. We kicked in an extra $200 or so to reach that amount, but figured that wasn't bad for a "site fee." Service fees and 10% taxes added almost $1,000 to the total above and beyond the food minimum.

Tip:  Consider a restaurant venue. You won't have to pay a site fee or rent seating, linens, glassware, etc. Rather than a pricey multi-tier wedding cake, try a number of smaller cakes or a dessert buffet. Don't feel you need to serve an unlimited bar -- beer, wine, and a signature drink or two (plus yummy nonalcoholic options, of course!) leave guests just as happy.

(Our "videographer" -- MIL with a digital camera that shoots video. We wouldn't have paid for a pro, but it WAS nice to see the moving version in addition to photographs.)

Photography = 20%

In the grand scheme of things, this was our biggest elective splurge. It's about twice the average percentage that people allocate to photography. But it was worth it in the long run because now we have stunning memories of every aspect of our day. Punam's photos turned our budget shindig into something extraordinary!

Tip:  Look for someone who is talented but just starting out. (Punam Bean is well-known now, but we were the second or third wedding she'd ever booked.) If your locale is unusually expensive, consider flying someone in from elsewhere; we actually imported an NYC photographer for less than the cost of established DC locals. The WPJA website is one excellent resource for finding photographers all over the country.

Flowers = 5%

We used silk flowers from Save-on-Crafts for bouquets, corsages, and boutennieres, and Peruvian lilies and garden roses from FiftyFlowers.com to decorate the ceremony and reception spaces. Of course it would have been easier to work with a florist, and I don't have any experience with florists to know how much money we saved. But I suspect we saved a lot.

Tip:  This is an area where it's easy to put things together yourself. It's hard to go wrong with flowers -- they look pretty no matter what you do to them! Silk flowers are sometimes less expensive than real (depending on flower type), can be put together far ahead of time, and can be re-used or re-sold after the event.

Decor = 5%

Because restaurant venues have decor of their own, we could have gotten by with very little. But I was attached to the idea of hanging lanterns, and couldn't resist certain other purchases as the months went by.

Tip:  Make full use of decor elements that are already at your venue. Avoid "wedding markup" by re-purposing everyday materials (for example, we used sari fabric as an aisle runner). Resist the urge to make impulse purchases. Buy second-hand decorations from other brides. And if all else fails, look for double-duty items that you can re-sell, donate to charity, or use in your home after the wedding.

Music = 0

Free, thanks to the wonder of the iPod. In our case, we "got what we paid for." But I still believe iPod weddings can be ideal under the right circumstances.

Lodging = 2.5%

Two nights at the Hotel Monaco in Alexandria, at a great rate thanks to a grand-opening special on Travelzoo. Spending the night before and the wedding night in relative luxury, utterly pampered by the staff, made this expense totally worthwhile.

Tip:  If you're on a budget, there's never any reason to pay full price for a hotel. Commit to finding a certain class of hotel (say, four-star) rather than a specific property, and then check out Travelzoo, Expedia Special Deals, Priceline, and Hotwire to see what's on offer.

Other / Not Included

We did not "go budget" on our rings, on the theory that we will have them forever and wear them daily. For my engagement ring, Mr T did work with a jeweler to copy something we loved at Bulgari, without the designer price tag. But my wedding band is from Bulgari itself (had to compensate them somehow!) and Mr. T's is from Cartier.

Mr T's parents threw a lovely rehearsal dinner -- a traditional 10-course Chinese banquet. This helped make up for the fact that we refused a Chinese banquet for the actual reception. And my Midwestern family LOVED it! 

We were broke by the time our California honeymoon rolled around, so that was on a strict budget. (Travelzoo hotel deals, yet again....) But it was nice just to have a lovely spot to relax a bit after all the activity. And now we have Bali/Greece/Insert-Exotic-Destination-Here to look forward to on a future anniversary!

What are your favorite "budget" wedding tips?  Anyone else clocking in below $10K, and how will you do it?

Registry Love

Even though we still have half a house to unpack, Mr. T and I have at least put most of our wedding gifts to use. It's so much fun having all these new things!

There are certain items that everyone has heard of. You don't need me to convince you of the glory of Le Creuset pans, for example. But here are some lesser-known sources and/or items that are worth a look:

Yamazaki Flatware from The Silver Superstore

My grandparents made us a wonderful offer to purchase flatware as a wedding gift. After lots of research (much of it on Amazon.com, which has extremely useful product reviews), I narrowed the ideal down to two brands: Yamazaki and WMF. 

Unfortunately, both brands average around $50 per place setting, and we could never ask our grandparents to pay that. But here's where The Silver Superstore came in -- they have many discontinued and otherwise discounted lines. Our beautifully simple, mirror-shiny Epoch pattern was only $120 for a 65-piece service for 12! Dad made the purchase, and, though he's not nearly the Internet shopper his daughter is, he reported that the customer service was excellent and it was an easy transaction all around.

Eclissi Glass Dinnerware from Target

We decided early on that we wouldn't register for fine china.  And most stoneware strikes me as a bit too ... stoneware-y. So eventually we settled on glass dishes. We have a fancier version on our future wish-list (Aino Aalto for Iittala, designed in 1932 and utterly timeless), and these Eclissi dishes from Target filled in for everyday.  

It's hard to tell from the photos, but Target hit a home run with these dishes. They're made in Italy from thick, tempered glass, and the shape is an unusual hybrid of a square with rounded edges. Basically, everything we serve on these dishes comes out looking like a magazine shoot. Which is particularly impressive, considering that most of what we serve involves cereal, pizza, and/or Chipotle burritos.

A Couple of "Green" Options, via our Alternative Gift Registry

Before the wedding, I talked up The Alternative Gift Registry as a perfect place to register. You can link to any item on any Website, describe something at a local store, or even request intangible gifts like family photos or wedding-planning assistance. I believe there's at least one other link-from-anywhere registry in operation (anyone used it, or at least know the name/info?), but I particularly trust The Alternative Gift Registry because it's run by a nonprofit.

In the end, only a couple of guests used our Alternative Gift Registry, and they were among our most Internet-savvy friends. Even the people who bought gifts over the Internet seemed most comfortable with our traditional registries (Macy's and Target). But I'd still use the Alternative Gift Registry again, in part because I believe in its parent organization and in part because we really love the stuff we got! Two of our favorites are a gorgeously sculptural rack for holding our newspaper recycling ($50 at the MOMA Store) and a red bamboo dishtowel ($6.50 at the Bibelot Shop). There were serious discussions chez Tulip the other night because the beloved bamboo dishtowel was in the laundry and I had replaced it with something pretty but useless!

Are you registering at any unusual sources, or for unusual items?  What unusual gift excites you the most?

With My Compliments

One of the joys of a wedding day is that people tend to say very nice things to you.

My favorite wedding-day compliment was from some friends of Mr T, who accused us of ruining their drive home "because usually we amuse ourselves with an over/under on how long the marriage will last, and what will cause the break-up. But there's just no point with you two." 

Wicked tradition? Yes. But it amused me, and the conclusion is pretty great if you think about it.

But make that my favorite compliment till now. Because my MOH recently emailed this story about her adorable little boy:

Yesterday J was playing with a toy tractor and I asked him where he was going. 
He said, "I'm going to Baltimore to get married."  
To whom? I asked. 
"To TARA!!!!!!!!  She is a beautiful bride!!!!"

So Mr T is on notice.  Just in case the first couple was wrong about our future, he has extra reason to be good to me -- in 16-18 years, there will be a handsome young man waiting in the wings!

What are your favorite compliments, wedding-related or as a couple?

Getting Rid of It

I am slightly obsessed with the process of donating items I don't want to charity. Sure, there's nothing wrong with boxing everything up and dropping it at The Salvation Army, Goodwill, or another thrift store. But bonus points if you can get your unwanted goods directly into the hands of someone who needs them.

Add the fact that Mr T and I combined households post-wedding and now have duplicates of everything in our very crowded condo, and it shouldn't be hard to guess what's on my mind these days!

 
(No, this photo is not from the Clutterers Anonymous website: This is our office, after the contents of my 1200-sf apartment were crammed into Mr T's 670-sf place.)

So, for those of you moving in together for the first time, expecting to replace a few things through your wedding registry, or otherwise just hoping to weed out some clutter, here's a (sort of) brief guide to getting rid of the excess:

Everything:

Craigslist offers free online classifieds for most metropolitan areas. Listing is free and easy, and the site is heavily used -- most free or well-priced items receive multiple takers within a few hours of listing. One downside is that Craigslist users are sometimes flaky -- it helps to have a "back-up" in case the original taker doesn't show.

Freecycle is a national network of message boards through which people offer and request free items of all sorts. Its costs and benefits are similar to Craigslist. There are also lesser-known groups, many of which are listed at Sharing is Giving and Freesharing.org.

Selling on eBay isn't difficult, and it can bring in a good chunk of change. You can even sell for charity. But be warned -- taking good pictures, forming a listing, answering buyer questions, and shipping the item takes more effort than you might expect.

Wedding Items:

Expect to have leftover food the day of your wedding? America's Second Harvest will distribute it to shelters.

If you live in NYC or LA, Flower Power will take your flowers and give them to the elderly and seriously ill.

Brides Against Breast Cancer accepts modern (post-2000) wedding gowns in good condition. They'll even dry-clean it for you (they request an optional donation of $12 to cover this cost).

The I Do Foundation, best known for its charity-friendly wedding registries, accepts wedding dress donations (clean, post-2005). The Foundation sells the dress through a consignment store and donates 20% of the sale to the charity of your choice, using the rest to support the Foundation itself.

In the DC area, St. Anthony's Bridal accepts donations of most wedding-related items (wedding dresses and accessories, tuxes, decor, etc.) and loans them at no cost to other couples who are getting married. They also have a prom-dress program for bridesmaid gowns.

Clothing:

The Princess Project donates fancy party attire and accessories to girls headed to prom. Based in San Francisco, they accept mailed donations of recent (2002-present), dry-cleaned bridesmaid gowns and other party attire from January-April each year. The Glass Slipper Project is a similar charity in Chicago, which also takes shoes, evening bags, jewelry, and unused makeup.

If you'd prefer something local, check out the lists of dress-donation campaigns at DonateMyDress or The Glass Slipper Project.

Business-appropriate women's clothing (suits, blouses, interview-appropriate shoes) can be donated to Dress for Success.

Household goods:

People who have just arrived in this country or are moving out of a shelter into their own home often desperately need furniture, dishes, small appliances, and other household items. Try an Internet search for homeless shelters and women's shelters in your area or foundations that provide support to refugees. As an example, a Google search for "donate household items DC" turned up lists organized by charity and type of donation, a program run by DC Child and Family Services, the refugee support program of the International Rescue Committee, and a couple of local rescue missions.

The International Rescue Committe, which supports recently resettled refugees, has offices in 17 U.S. locations. Find your nearest location on their home page under "Where We Work," and then check the donation information on your local page.

In the NYC area, check out Project Hospitality, Partnership for the Homeless, or the Furniture Distribution Program of the Mayor's Office to Combat Domestic Violence, or there's an excellent list of charities here. 

In Toronto, check out The Furniture Bank. Or see this list of charities throughout Canada.  

Most animal shelters accept towels and blankets for grooming and bedding (as well as pet-related items, of course).

Books, CDs, DVDs:

In most cases, your local public library would be happy to take books and media to add to its collections or to sell at a fundraiser. Not sure whether to donate something? Remember that a library donation isn't gone forever -- you can always check it out later!

AnySoldier.com helps people send care packages to soldiers in Iraq & Afghanistan who don't normally get mail from home. Books, CDs, and DVDs are popular items for passing the time when not on duty.

If you're in the right drop-off area or willing to mail your books, a number of charities accept book donations and re-distribute them in the US and abroad. These include Books for Africa (St. Paul, accepts mailed books); Got Books? (New England, accepts mailed books); Hands Across the Water (MA, CT, RI, St Louis, WA, GA); EcoEncore (Seattle, accepts mailed books; resells books/CDs/DVDs and donates profits to environmental charity); and the Prisoners' Reading Encouragement Project (NYC, accepts mailed books as well as books on tape and VHS tapes). Textbooks can be difficult to donate, but check out Bridge to Asia, which sends them to universities in China (SF & Chicago, accepts mailed books).

If you'd prefer to make a few dollars (or at least some store credit) off your books, you can drop them off at a local used book store or ship them to Powell's Books for store credit. Want to swap them out for something new? You can trade books through Paperback Swap or books, music, movies, and games through Swaptree.

Computers:

Most Goodwill locations accept computers, though Goodwill recommends checking with your local branch  before bringing them in. The Goodwill website offers helpful tips on donation, including links to services that will wipe your hard drive clean.

Share the Technology has a comprehensive list of where to donate or recycle both newer and older computers. Another good resource is World Computer Exchange, which has dozens of drop-off locations in the US and abroad for donations of computers (Pentium 3 or newer) and computer peripherals.

What else have I missed?  Has anyone used these resources, and do you have tips to share?

Getting Everything in Writing

(Image source)

Background

We Tulips are the most easy-going lawyers you could hope to meet.  And we only had 3 wedding vendors -- photographer and two venues.  So, when our reception venue said they didn't have a standard contract to detail the terms of our rental, we didn't insist. 

When we first looked into the venue, they gave us the option of reserving their lower level for a certain minimum food/drink purchase, or taking over the whole place for a larger minimum.  We wanted extra space and didn't want to share with restaurant diners, so we went with the larger minimum.  It meant ordering more food than we actually needed, and maybe filling in the difference if the bar tab didn't take us to the minimum, but we felt the trade-off was worth it.

Cut to the week of our wedding, when we got an email from the event coordinator.  She said that, "in light of the small number of guests," they felt it would be "much more intimate" if we all stayed on the lower level.  Translation: they wanted to keep the restaurant open upsairs during our reception.  Although the owners had set the terms in the first place, they now decided the minimum was too low.  Of course, we objected on principle to this shockingly bad business practice, but we also had guests arriving in a couple of days.  Cue many emails back and forth, tears by the event coordinator (who was put in an uncomfortable spot between the owners' position and our own anger), and finally a meeting between Mr T and the owners, in which we agreed to allow them to stay open while we decorated, and also to push the reception back an hour.  It wasn't ideal, but it did find a compromise between the two positions.  We just announced the time change at our ceremony.

Lesson Learned

Under most circumstances, an agreement does not need to be written down to become a valid contract.  It's enough that the parties reach an agreement and then take action on that agreement.  The lack of a written contract did not give our reception site any authority to change our rental terms.

But "legal authority" is one thing ... real-world practice is another.  If anything goes wrong, you have a stronger position if you can waive around a piece of paper, with the vendor's signature, on which she agreed to the exact terms of your deal.  This is in part because the vendor must confront her own promises, and in part because, if all else fails, it's easier to take legal action on a written document because it offers convenient proof of the agreed-upon terms and both parties' acceptance of those terms (as shown by their signatures).

For the same reasons, you should put everything significant into that written agreement.  Photographer agreed to give you a DVD of images within two months?  Be sure it's in the contract.  Florist agreed on light-pink peonies?  Be sure it's in the contract.  Restaurant venue agreed to close from 4-10 p.m. based on a certain minimum purchase?  Be sure it's in the contract.  Heaven forbid you ever have a dispute, but "an ounce of prevention" is by far the best.

Anyone else have a vendor dispute to share?  Were the key terms in your contract, and did it make a difference?

Clucks and Smooches

Inspired by Miss Pomegranate's nifty kissing menu idea, thought I'd share what we required of guests who wanted to see us kiss.  We refused to give them a show ... unless they did ...

THE CHICKEN DANCE!

 
(Mr T and a groomsman flap their wings at the after-party)

Since our dead music meant no actual (much-anticipated!) Chicken Dance, I'm glad we still got to include this tradition in some way.  And it definitely kept smooching demands to a minimum -- only the afore-mentioned groomsman was man enough to play chicken for the assembled crowd.

Anyone else going with a decidedly unusual method of kissing request?

One Last Photo Roundup: The Parent Dance

In honor of Miss Cupcake's post from yesterday, here are a few Parent Dance pics.  We didn't have anything special -- just a song and a quartet of parents (we switched halfway).  But I enthusiastically recommend a Parent Dance to everyone -- a few minutes out of the reception can mean a lifetime's worth of bonding moments all around.

(Photos, as always, by Punam Bean)

Tissue Poufs for the Lazy

As the Tulip Nuptial Recap Extravaganza winds down, I'm still discovering the occasional forgotten detail.  And the current case in point is actually one of my favorite decorations from our wedding reception:

As a cheapskate budget bride, I've always loved the decorative-bang-for-few-bucks factor of the famous Martha Stewart tissue poufs.  In fact, I bought some red tissue and planned to do up poufs for our own decor.  But between illness and general laziness, few things get done in my world.  And in the end ... well, let's just say our red-tissue-paper needs will be met for many Christmases to come!

Luckily I also picked up a dozen of these beauties, which hung from the ceiling in our cocktail area.  Assembly took approximately two seconds -- just unfold the rice-paper accordion around the circle and secure it with a bit of tape or the included paper clip.  I adored them for some crazy reason, whether because of the bright turquoise color or my love for vintage accordion-paper party decorations (Santa's belly, anyone?).  Available at Luna Bazaar, they come in 5 colors and are $1.50 for the 14" model and $1.95 for an 18-incher (less if you buy a dozen or more).

What other simple paper decorations can be used to jazz up a celebration site?  Anyone going with paper flags or streamers?  Or the genuine Martha floral poms?