Two Wishes

Mother's Little Helper

So, yeah, I've been gone and now I'm back. Sadly, can't promise it won't happen again. Chronic fatigue and newborns don't mix.  

Which brings me to this:

Do you ever fantasize about developing a drug addiction? 'Cause I'm thinking amphetamines might be really useful right about now.* Sure, I saw the Very Special Episode of Family Ties** in which Alex P. Keaton tried amphetamines to help him study and wound up obsessively cleaning house instead. But what if your house needs cleaning? Then it's a good idea, right?

Which brings me to this:

Some friends recently gave me Mommy Knows Worst, a humorous look at questionable parenting advice from the early parts of the 20th Century. And one excerpt was from a pamphlet on the evils of soothing syrups. Which were, in a word (or two): Baby Opiates.*** Of course the logical part of my brain thought "Egad, people really did unhealthy things Way Back in the Day, didn't they?" But that other part of my brain? Wondered whether they still sell them.

* Except, how would one go about procuring them? Go up to the nearest street dealer (it's DC, we've got plenty) and say "Excuse me, sir, may I have a jar of Uppers?"

** Yes, my 20-something friends ... I am that old.

*** Great summary from a Patent Medicine website:  "Companies like Sears and Wards had large sections devoted to the sale of patent medicines in their catalogs. One such remedy was called 'Soothing Baby Syrup' which claimed to stop your baby from crying. It contained opium and really worked. The problem was that baby became an opium fiend."

Wedding Photos Are Up!

As is the way of these things, Punam Bean posted Sister-in-Law's wedding photos on a day I didn't make it online to see them....  

  

If you also missed seeing Punam's stunning images yesterday, I heartily suggest you head to her blog and check them out ASAP!!!

A Month of Fabulousness

From May 15 - June 15, I plan to partake of a Month of Fabulousness.

Will spare you the blah blah blah of why this is necessary. Suffice it to say that lack of employment and long illness left me feeling useless and bleh even before we had a baby and any concept of personal time flew out the window. Many days, I don't even get to shower. It's no way to live, and it has left me feeling rather negative about my current place in the world.

End result: still much like this. But with red toenails (and hopefully an improved self-image).

Hence, my Plan of Fabulousness.  (Or, technically speaking, my Plan of Small Amounts of Fabulosity That Will Fit Within the Edges of Life With Baby....)  In the next month, I will:

- Visit one museum

- Photograph one roll of film

- Paint my toenails red

- Get a real haircut (not at the $18 beauty school)

- Make 3 much-needed doctor's appointments so my body's taken care of

- Read only light, fluffy books (maybe with some literature thrown in, as I am prone to sugar headaches)

- Look through old photos to remember where I've been

- Make a "life list" to remind me where I'm going

- Donate my wedding dress (finally) so another woman can feel fabulous

Extra Bonus Points for clearing out the baby's room, working on my book, or any form of exercise....  

(Now to fight my procrastinatory impulses, so I'm not rushing around in early June trying to do it all!)

What would you include in your own Plan of Fabulousness?

A Wedding

(The happy couple at our own wedding. Photo by Punam Bean.)

As I type this, my beautiful and talented sister-in-law is marrying her beloved on a glacier in Alaska. They have to reach the spot by plane -- how cool is that? And Mr T is there as a Bridesman.  

I wasn't feeling brave enough to fly a 2-month-old all the way to Alaska (we try for zero-crying in public, and that's a lot of hours to keep a baby happy), so Wallaby and I are at home missing all the fun.

But Punam Bean is taking the photos, and I'm anxiously awaiting her next blog post!!!

New Identity

Hello, darlings, I'm back!  And I appreciate your patience with my absence.  Frankly, the past few weeks have been darn rough.  In the first month everything was new and I was recovering, but we began well-rested and with plenty of adrenalin in reserve.  This second month actually felt worse because the newness of the adventure wore off and the exhaustion was more cumulative.  But she's growing more organized by the day, and everyone says it gets easier around the third month.  We can survive four more weeks, right? Fingers crossed!

Wallaby says "yo".

In other news, last week I finally legalized my married name. (Had planned to do it before the baby so we'd all have the same name on the birth certificate, but when do I get anything done on time?)  So far the biggest adjustment has been remembering to sign forms and whatnot with the new name -- it's like that weird transition of updating the year every January, but many, many times over!

I never wavered about taking Mr T's last name, but now it feels a little strange.  My maiden name was unusual, and I was the only person with my particular name combination.  Somehow it feels validating to search census records for your name and get a result of "1".  Apparently I wasn't always so unique -- over the years a few people have contacted me to ask whether I'm "the Tara P_____ who grew up in Missouri" -- but she must have changed her name or gone deep underground, because both Google and the census were all me, baby.  And now there are 5 others with my new name in the US alone.

Then again, maybe that's not all bad.  The other night I did a farewell search of my maiden name, and the amount of personal information available on Google is a bit disturbing.  Old professional records and publications are great.  But Facebook profile (now belatedly set to "private")?  Random comments on message boards?  My law school application essay?!??  I might prefer to hide out in a slightly larger crowd....

I'm curious, how about you?  Have you ever changed your name, and how was the transition? How many of your name twins are lurking out there?  (And have you ever met one???)

    

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today, we stood before family and friends and pledged to love one another whatever life may bring.  Just a few weeks later, life brought changes we never could have expected.  Thank you for taking it all in stride, and for holding me close when I could not do the same.  

After all that has happened, I love you even more than I did last March 22.  And I pray that every year we will be able to say the same.  Happy Anniversary, Mr T!

If I Should Fall Behind (A Valentine)

My grandparents, Dudley and Shirley Wilber, married in 1942.  There were real challenges at the start -- both barely out of high school, family opposition, little money to their name, and Dudley was off to military service just a few weeks after the wedding.  For the next two years, Dudley was moved every few months.  Shirley followed closely behind, finding a new home and new job at each new post.  The couple saw each other only on weekends, but at least it was a chance to be together in the face of the constant threat that Dudley would be deployed overseas.  When their first child was born, Shirley returned to her parents' home to raise her alone while they waited for Dudley to go to war.  The couple didn't begin a "normal" married life -- living in the same home as a family -- until the war ended just before their 3rd anniversary.

(Grandma and Grandpa served as witnesses to our wedding. Here, a 1942 photo on display. Photo by Punam Bean)

After 66 years, Grandma and Grandpa remain genuinely in love.  In fact, Grandma recently told me that their relationship has taken on new depth in their old age, as health troubles cause them to rely more and more on each other's support just to manage daily life.  Grandma's advice for keeping a marriage strong over 66 years?  "Hang in there."  No marriage is always easy -- couples inevitably face rough patches -- and when troubles happen, "You just have to hang in there." 

In light of their long history, I think of my grandparents whenever I hear Bruce Springsteen's beautiful ballad "If I Should Fall Behind."  Though the song mentions an upcoming wedding, I believe it speaks even more to a couple who has dedicated the time and the effort, the love and the care, to travel side by side over decades.  On this day when we celebrate love, it never hurts to remember that the grandest love stories may be the ones happening around us every day.  Happy Valentine's Day, Grandma and Grandpa -- with love and thanks for your inspiration.

We said we'd walk together baby come what may
That come the twilight should we lose our way
If as we're walkin a hand should slip free
I'll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me

We swore we'd travel darlin' side by side
We'd help each other stay in stride
But each lover's steps fall so differently
But I'll wait for you
And if I should fall behind
Wait for me

Now everyone dreams of a love lasting and true
But you and I know what this world can do
So let's make our steps clear that the other may see
And I'll wait for you
If I should fall behind
Wait for me

Now there's a beautiful river in the valley ahead
There 'neath the oak's bough soon we will be wed
Should we lose each other in the shadow of the evening trees
I'll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me
Darlin' I'll wait for you
Should I fall behind

Wait for me.

The Christmas Felafel

This year, Christmas Week was slightly depressing.  I wasn't feeling particularly well, am under house arrest (bedrest for the pregnancy complications), and missed most of the holiday build-up while in and out of hospital and doctors' offices.  Add in the disconnect between reality and my secret ideal of magically perfect First Married Holidays, and by Christmas Eve I was feeling glum.

So, we went out for felafel.

Amsterdam Felafelshop, despite basic appointments and a reputation as a late-night stop for drunken bargoers, is one of my favorite DC restaurants.  They serve felafels as God intended felafels should be served -- i.e., with a toppings bar full of salads, sauces, and pickled vegetables.  And their fries come in a proper Dutch manner, with tangy mayonnaise for dipping.  Given that my two major foreign experiences have been in Holland and Israel, every visit to this place is a bizarre cultural reunion of two much-beloved phases of my life. 

After our fried balls of holiday joy, Christmas Eve perked up considerably.  We headed home and watched a little Hitchcock, and a little Charlie Brown:

(image source one, two)

And in the end, I decided our Perfect Family Christmas doesn't need decorations, new traditions, fancy gifts, or even good health to make it special.  All it needs is for Mr. T and I to spend the days together ... wherever and however that may be. 

Hope your own holidays were special, and here's wishing you many good things in 2009!

Tags Are Itchy

(image source)

Life's Torment #43:  I absolutely can't stand the feel of clothing tags against my skin.  So I usually cut them out before wearing, but I'm not terribly careful about it and wind up with countless items of clothing sporting small holes where the tags once lived.  In fact, I'm wearing a hole-y tank even as I type.....

However, blog tags are a whole different animal.  I am honored to have been tagged by Corine at Hidden in France, whose blog I have long enjoyed for her impeccable style and philosophical thoughts. Really, you should go check out her blog -- I'll wait!  If nothing else, take a gander at this post, with her utterly charming chalkboard Christmas decoration:

But anyway, without further ado ... get to know me!

4 Things I Did Today:  [by which I mean Saturday, I'm slow]

1.  Slept until 3 p.m. and napped a few hours beyond that.  The anti-labor drugs are hitting pretty hard. 

2.  Polished off a pint of Haagen-Dazs peppermint brittle ice cream.

3.  "Nursed" our male cat, who was separated from his mother too soon and mentally remains a kitten. He's also anatomically confused, and nurses on the neckline of my shirt.

(Cute, but confused.)

4.  Watched The Sure Thing on DVD.  My friends and I watched that movie obsessively in middle school, but amazingly Mr T had never seen it.  Turns out I could have just acted it out for him -- I still remember a good 60-70% of the lines.

4 Things on My To-Do List:

1.  Name the baby.  ("Wallaby" will only take us so far!)

2.  Donate, donate, donate.  We've got housewares for the International Rescue Committee, clothes for Goodwill, wedding supplies for a local place that loans out wedding goods, fancy dresses for a prom program, pet supplies for DC's amazing Animal Rescue League....  I'm glad people can get real use from our extra stuff, but getting it to them is kind of exhausting.

3.  Make baked goods with the candied ginger in our pantry.  Earlier this week, I tried some shortbread cookies with chewy ginger pieces inside, and they were so good I must have more ginger soon!

4.  Two words: Christmas gifts.

4 Guilty Pleasures:

1.  Craft supplies.  (The "guilty" part is that I so rarely make crafts these days; I just love being well supplied.)

2.  Murder novels

3.  IHOP

(As I was looking for a good image, I came across a site asking "Do you have any information on IHOP? What’s your impression of what’s going on there? My child just got involved in IHOP, should I be concerned?". Turns out there's also a religious community called the International House of Prayer....  But those waffles can be pretty dangerous too!)

4.  The Soup (though it's got to be better than watching all the reality shows they excerpt, right??)

4 Random Facts About Me:

1.  In the last 15 years, I have lived in 7 states and 3 foreign countries.  I'm terrible at staying in touch with the people I meet, but I never stop thinking about them.  My heart and mind are crammed with the ghosts of past lives.

2.  I'm working on 2 nonfiction books.  At the rate I'm going, we'll be very lucky if I finish either one before the fetus enters college.

3.  I have a social phobia of telephones.  It's gotten better over the years, but as a teenager I couldn't even call to order a pizza without freaking out.  (In college, I spent a few months as a telephone researcher on the theory that constant exposure would help me relax.  Instead, it had the opposite effect -- people were so mean!)

4.  My life's goals include visiting all the countries that start with "I".  So far, I've checked off Israel, Ireland, and Italy.

(Next stop: Iceland!  Image source.)

I'm not up to tagging anyone else at the moment.  But please do let me know if you decide to join the fun!

Start Spreading the News

I'm leaving today.  But not to the City That Never Sleeps -- more like The City That's Usually in Bed by 11.  In other words, I'm off to visit my family in Des Moines!

(image source)

I'm excited both to see my family and to return to the Midwest for a stretch.  But my parents have dial-up (remember that?!?), which will wreak havoc on my Internet habits.  Whenever there's a chance, I do hope to schedule a few posts with very belated photos from this fall's Alaska trip....  And in the meantime, enjoy Thanksgiving, everyone!